Remember way back in month two when I was talking about all my “Big Ideas?” Well, they got a little overwhelming. In fact, my quest for self-growth and learning took a bit of a dive this month.
Here’s the story
When I initially arrived in Costa Rica, I was determined to use the time I had to figure out what I wanted to do “when I grow up.” I immediately started dreaming up all sorts of ideas, and ultimately, stumbled upon something that I truly felt passionate about. For the first time in my life, I started to get really excited about what was ahead of me.
So the big ideas started to form. I focused on taking a moment every day to learn more about the direction I wanted to head. I was researching, plotting, reading, dreaming, and feeling energized. Then all of a sudden I felt it….
I started to get scared.
They don’t call them BIG ideas for nothing. I started to feel how far outside of my comfort zone I was getting, and with that came doubt and insecurities. It stopped me dead in my tracks
I felt my passion for personal growth and self-improvement start to wane, and I stopped making it a focus for myself. I dove into the distractions of freelance work, blogging, working out, reading….anything to help me hide from my goal of moving forward.
I wasn’t seizing the day. I was re-creating the monotony of daily life that I had worked so hard to break free of.
This week, it came to a head. I knew I had to break-free of this slump, and continue my journey forward.After a big talk with Shaun, I came to a life-altering realization. My journey forward doesn’t start with my “big ideas”…
It starts with me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve run away just as things start moving forward. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this fear. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt self-doubt. But it’s the first time I’m going to address this reaction.
It’s time to break-free
My goal now is working towards creating a new perspective on how I view myself and to build the foundation to which I will be entering in to my new life.
This is my turning point, and I’m not looking back.
I write this post, because I want to share my journey with you. It’s going to be a wild ride.
Follow me on Twitter:@caketress
Change is always interesting and sometimes frightful. I just read a Jeff Bullas post about how blogging brings out thoughts in us we wouldnt usually have and inspires creativity. Seems like you are experiencing that …look forward to your future…not a pun.
One step at a time, you got this 😉 You’re growing more and more beautiful each day!
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom – Anais Nin
Thanks Kim, love that quote!
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